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Last night I had hoped to get caught up on my sleep or at least calm down a bit (my anxiety has been through the roof as of late) but that unfortunately wasn't to be. Everything went downhill after I got off the phone with my housemates. They can't stand living without internet access much longer so we discussed our different options. Of course, my mother demanded to know what was going. She started to yell when I told her that I would have to pay part of the internet/cable bill. In an attempt to calm her down, I told her that it wasn't a big deal since I was planning on moving in next month anyway...as it turns out, that was the worst possible thing I could have said.
To make a long story short, she kept me up till 11:30 yelling about how I was an awful daughter, a bad Christian, ugly and fat, in with the wrong crowd, a bitch etc. Then she stayed up all night so she could nail me again when I got up for work at 4:30. And if that wasn't enough, she called me at work around 7:00 to "finish our discussion"! All this because I want to move out!
I'm not going to blame my own insanity entirely on her, but when she acts like this, it doesn't help my mental stability at all! Her fits of irrational behavior are the big reason why I feel like I have to get out on my own. When we don't live together, we fight a lot less. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother and there are many good things about living with my parents (free food, my pets, someone to do my laundry for me). Its just hard living with a woman who is just as crazy, judgmental and opinionated as I am. I know my mom loves me and will have calmed down by the time she wakes up (yes, she finally did go to sleep), so I'm not too worried. My only reason for writing this was to calm myself down, so I'm not the one to start the fight back up.
In conclusion, I have decided to stay with my parents for yet another month and try to work out some sort of a deal with my housemates. Hopefully, thing will go smoothly from now on, as I will be trying my hardest to be a better daughter.
To make a long story short, she kept me up till 11:30 yelling about how I was an awful daughter, a bad Christian, ugly and fat, in with the wrong crowd, a bitch etc. Then she stayed up all night so she could nail me again when I got up for work at 4:30. And if that wasn't enough, she called me at work around 7:00 to "finish our discussion"! All this because I want to move out!
I'm not going to blame my own insanity entirely on her, but when she acts like this, it doesn't help my mental stability at all! Her fits of irrational behavior are the big reason why I feel like I have to get out on my own. When we don't live together, we fight a lot less. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother and there are many good things about living with my parents (free food, my pets, someone to do my laundry for me). Its just hard living with a woman who is just as crazy, judgmental and opinionated as I am. I know my mom loves me and will have calmed down by the time she wakes up (yes, she finally did go to sleep), so I'm not too worried. My only reason for writing this was to calm myself down, so I'm not the one to start the fight back up.
In conclusion, I have decided to stay with my parents for yet another month and try to work out some sort of a deal with my housemates. Hopefully, thing will go smoothly from now on, as I will be trying my hardest to be a better daughter.
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